| There are some very important principles that | | | | ideas, maintain a calm affect in conversation and are |
| successful advocates practice. The first principle was | | | | supportive and have good things to say. On the |
| research, studying, and reading up to keep informed | | | | other hand, I have a hard time listening and |
| on new developments and support. The second | | | | contributing to discussions with people who are |
| principle, shared in this article, is one that can be used | | | | always on the defensive and looking for a comment |
| in many areas across the board in life. By using this | | | | or decision that "confirms" their belief that, "No one |
| principle, you can become absolutely dynamic in the | | | | really wanted to listen to me or do what needs to |
| way you relate to others. | | | | be done anyway." When people enter into dialogue |
| Principle Two: Fostering Positive Relationships | | | | with a predetermined notion that they are going to |
| I have worked with a lot of parents and | | | | have to fight, it adds an energy to the conversation |
| administrators. I see some interesting dynamics at | | | | that has the potential to create exactly what you |
| times with the relationships between these two sets | | | | expect. |
| of people. Sometimes the two see each other as | | | | Take a minute and think about the nature of your |
| support - the parents looking for the principal to | | | | conversations with teachers, staff and administrators |
| demonstrate the intensity of an advocate for their | | | | around you. If you are a therapist or teacher, do the |
| child in getting all the services needed, and the | | | | same thing but think of it in terms of your |
| principal, looking at the parent as the key to support | | | | communication with parents. It can work both ways. |
| and reinforcement at home to implement the | | | | Take these points into consideration: |
| strategies that will help the student improve at | | | | - Are your conversations collaborative? |
| school. Both sides can be self-serving, but at least | | | | - Do they allow room for others to share their input? |
| both have a common concern at heart, and that is | | | | - Do you strive to build bridges to understand others |
| the child. | | | | and work on solutions without stress and negative |
| Then there is the adversarial relationship. I have | | | | energy? |
| heard stories from parents at conferences and group | | | | One thing therapists and specialists have to |
| sessions, where the parents refer to the principal and | | | | remember is that even when they don't get along |
| therapists as cold-hearted and threatened and | | | | with someone, we still need to give each other a |
| unwilling to listen. I don't work with any principals or | | | | certain level of respect. There is also a little thing |
| staff like this fortunately, but these stories do | | | | called IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) |
| happen. | | | | and a federal mandate! No matter what I think, in a |
| When I hear stories like this I think about what my | | | | situation, I have to bite the bullet, smile and do what |
| reaction would be if I were a school administrator | | | | has to be done to be in compliance. I would hope to |
| and I had a parent who was knowledgeable but in | | | | see the same amount of determination on the |
| my face about what I was going to do about their | | | | parents' side to work together so we could both |
| child. I would say, "You are my new best friend! I | | | | come up with a "win-win" situation. When we add the |
| need you to assist in the process of developing what | | | | child into the picture it becomes a "win-win-win" |
| is best for your child. You need to be an integral part | | | | situation! |
| of our team for him!" The point of view taken by | | | | Being positive and working on solutions together |
| the leaders in assistive technology about the team | | | | allows for much more success. Being able to think this |
| process is that parents need to participate and be a | | | | way in your relationships, problem solving and |
| part. Their participation is essential. | | | | conversations, is an aspect of what I call the "No |
| Positive should ALWAYS be the first line of defense | | | | Limits Lifestyle." I wish you the best as you strive |
| When you are looking at going to school to advocate | | | | for healthy collaborative relationships. When you take |
| on an issue, look at how you can share your point, | | | | the time to create these positive relationships, you |
| and in that point make sure there is an invitation for | | | | are making advocacy a much easier task. I hope this |
| collaboration. That means that it is not "my way or | | | | gives you more support as you work through |
| the highway." I know that I am much more apt to | | | | potentially high-emotion situations. |
| collaborate and work with people who listen to my | | | | |