| Not "feeling the love" that is supposed | | | | might reject your invitation to connect. |
| to come from networking on sites like | | | | If you're lucky, they'll just ignore |
| LinkedIn? You're not alone! It's not | | | | you. Multiple times. Your feelings might |
| easy to "get connected" successfully | | | | get hurt, but at least you won't score |
| regardless of how many people tell you | | | | any penalty points. |
| LinkedIn is the holy grail of | | | | If you are thinking of adding them to |
| professional networking. | | | | your network, make no assumptions. Test |
| Here's how to minimize residual damage | | | | the waters offline before issuing an |
| to your self-confidence and sense of | | | | invitation to connect to be on the safe |
| worth when they're just not that | | | | side. |
| "LinkedIn" to you. | | | | In the middle is everyone else. They may |
| 1. It's Not Who You Know, It's Who Knows | | | | or may not know you but, if you can get |
| You! | | | | up the courage to send an invitation to |
| LinkedIn advises connecting only with | | | | connect, there is a 50/50 chance they'll |
| those you know and trust. Which is great | | | | accept if for no other reason than you |
| if you know a lot of people. Not so | | | | look like someone they really should |
| great if you're looking to meet new | | | | know (or at least give the appearance of |
| folks to expand your network which is | | | | knowing) or because they actually do |
| how most people are "sold" on the system | | | | know you and have decided to give you |
| and why they are using it to begin with. | | | | that "virtual seal of social approval". |
| Who needs another time-consuming | | | | Others may accept because they have an |
| networking tool to stay connected with | | | | agenda of their own to pursue and you |
| people you already know? You have a | | | | look like someone they can safely |
| relationship with them and probably keep | | | | approach with it sooner or later. |
| in touch regularly via other ways and | | | | Then there are the people who send you |
| means. | | | | an invitation to connect with them. Now |
| Don't be surprised if you find people | | | | you get to decide who's in and who's |
| you know on LinkedIn, issue an | | | | out. What's your standard "acceptance" |
| "invitation to connect", then don't hear | | | | criteria going to be? |
| back from them. If you look closely, you | | | | 3. Make a More Memorable First Move! |
| may find they set up their profile a | | | | You can approach people you don't know |
| long time ago, never did much of | | | | on LinkedIn but if you just send the |
| anything with it, and aren't all that | | | | boilerplate text provided for an |
| active in LinkedIn anyway (if at all). | | | | invitation to connect don't expect many |
| Not much of a problem then. | | | | acceptances. Send a personal message; |
| What is a problem is when these same | | | | give them a reason to want to connect. |
| people respond to your invitation with a | | | | You'll be much more successful. |
| "Doesn't know" tag. Get enough of these | | | | 4. Tell a Better Story! |
| and LinkedIn will ban you forever. Ouch! | | | | Just how "attractive" are you on screen? |
| 2. It's Not Who You Know, It's Who WANTS | | | | LinkedIn is not a "meet market" for |
| to Know You! | | | | professional socializing. In fact, they |
| LinkedIn has a defined social hierarchy. | | | | only recently started letting members |
| Don't act surprised. Every society has a | | | | post photos on the site. But don't |
| "pecking order"; this one just happens | | | | expect to see much "action" in the |
| to be online. | | | | networking game if you haven't put much |
| At the top of the hierarchy is the "open | | | | effort into your web presence. |
| networkers". They call themselves LIONS | | | | Your professional profile tells a story |
| (for LinkedIn Open Networkers). They | | | | about your connection worthiness. You |
| typically have hundreds, if not | | | | still have to "sell" yourself if you |
| thousands of connections and advertise | | | | want to make decent connections; your |
| their openness to connecting with | | | | "rejection" percentage will be high if |
| anyone. This does not mean you don't | | | | you don't do a good job of it. |
| have to check their profiles; your | | | | 5. Go for Group Gold! |
| "invitation to connect" can still be | | | | Does your profile read virtual |
| rejected. But it does mean chances are | | | | wallflower? Check to see if you meet the |
| good they'll accept thereby making it | | | | criteria of specific groups or |
| possible for you to grow your network by | | | | associations. Then make group |
| connecting to them. The downside is | | | | connections and display your badge of |
| you're not likely to have a lot in | | | | acceptance (group label) on your |
| common with a LION (unless choosing them | | | | profile. Depending on the label, your |
| wisely) which could make building | | | | "connection" attractiveness could |
| ongoing relationships harder. | | | | increase many times over. |
| At the bottom of the hierarchy are the | | | | When using social networking tools like |
| "closed networkers". These folks accept | | | | LinkedIn don't take anything that |
| invitations to connect based on | | | | happens or doesn't happen in cyber-space |
| highly-defined known-only-to-themselves | | | | personally. We all hunger for belonging, |
| criteria. Approaching them is very | | | | acceptance, validation and love; it's |
| risky. Even when you know them, worked | | | | just more productive to look for these |
| with them, and possibly are even close | | | | things in places other than online. |
| personal friends with them, they still | | | | |